I’m back!!

Hey beautiful people! 🙂

I’m finally back!! After a very very long time of not blogging, I’m back to say hello to you guys. There were lot of things going on during the last weeks. As some of you might probably know, Europe is in a real refugee crisis at the moment. Thousands and thousands of refugees from Syria and other countries are coming to Europe, seeking a safer and better life. Families, men, even children on their own. Germany is one of those countries, which said “yes” to a large number of refugees seeking asylum. I saw so many things on TV, heard so many horrible stories. So many people drowned in the Mediterranean, while they were fleeing from bombs in their home countries. Seeing all these horrible pictures, I realised how lucky I am being born in a country where I’m free. I also felt ashamed. I kept complaining during the last year and was completely unhappy with my current situation. Till I noticed the refugee crisis and had the chance to meet refugees, talk to them and saw those beautiful and traumatised children with a big smile on their face. That was the moment I realised how small my problems are, in comparison to some real issues out there. I decided to help those people. Even though I’m not 100% recovered yet, I knew I had to contribute something to the current refugee situation. I started volunteering. This was the best decision I’ve ever made! Helping others helped myself and literally gave me energy and joy! However, how I started “working” again will be published in my next article.

Now back to my real story… last month I was in the south of France, visiting my family, with my mum. At the same time, my mum and I did a road trip and visited Monaco, St. Tropez, Cannes, Nizza and some other beautiful and small places at the French Riviera. It was so beautiful!! Never saw this part of my native country and honestly I fell in love! I’m also one year older now! 😛 I celebrated my 23 birthday…oh yeah, 23 years old now, it sounds so so old and mature. Honestly, I still feel like a child! Especially during the last year, where I had no choice but to hand over my responsibilities and most tasks. I still have those little moments that make me feel sad and unsatisfied with my current situation. Moments that make me cry, because sometimes, it’s so hard to watch everyone around me live a “normal” life, while I’m still constantly exhausted and resting most of the time. However, I guess that’s just human to feel desperate and exhausted of being exhausted some times 😉 We’re all just human beings who undergo a lot of emotions and feelings, and from what I’ve learnt, suppressing those feelings can be very harmful and can lead to serious diseases. That’s why I cry, that’s why I write diary, that’s why I listen to music and that’s why I’m writing this blog. Because, before I became ill, I was suppressing all negative feelings. Always pretending that everything is fine, as I was scared to show my real self. Crying in front of people was a sign of weakness for me. WAS! Nowadays, I think that it’s very purifying and cleansing to cry and to acknowledge negative feelings. You have to let those feelings come up, in order to say good bye to them. Feelings are temporary! So leave them the space to show up, but not control you 😉 However, I’m back! After weeks of adjusting to a “normal” routine again, I’m finding my way back to life. To be honest, I did not stick to any routine or goal(s) the last weeks. No daily meditation, no daily yoga, no daily walks. I was completely knocked out, exhaused, and definitely had a lack of self motivation. Occasionally, I managed to have a good old meditation or yoga session. It always made me realise how good those little sessions make me feel. That’s why I told myself, that I absolutely have to get “back on track” with my daily routine. So here I am. Finding my way back from the couch to a daily routine. I set some new intentions and goals for the week. One of them is to start my day right. I realised that the first thing you do in the morning has such a big influence on your entire day. We probably all know that first grab to our phones, checking all social media accounts. I realised that this habbit is full of bad energy. Starting my day with my phone, makes me feel even more tired, depressed and unproductive. That’s why I decided to not look at my phone at least one hour after waking up. I decided to use that hour to make some morning streches, have a good breakfast and set positive intentions for the day. I realised that I feel more motivated and positive, just by changing my morning routine. My next goal is to meditate and write dairy regularly again. It keeps my thoughts “clear” and helps me to focus on the important things again. That’s why I recommend you guys, to change your morning routine. Replace a bad habit by a good one. Try to spend less time at your phone and on social media, try to go for a short walk or meditate instead. You’ll feel the difference, I promise. Your mood will increase and you’ll feel more energised. Imagine a habit beeing a road. If you ride this road several times, day after day, you’ll become used to it and you’ll don’t even realise that you do certain things. Same thing with our phone, we don’t even notice how often we check our phones. Recently, I read an article saying that people who check their phones constantly, are more likely to get depressed, because they’re trying to improve their negative mood. People being phone addicted are more prone to moodiness and have bigger issues to focus their attention on certain things. Plus, we all know how unhealthy this habit can be for us. That’s why I would like to encourage you, to replace your “phone time” by another thing that slowly becomes your habit. Your health will definitely thank you!

Let’s all focus on the good things again, the things that make us feel alive. No matter what you’re going through, you decide what you are and who you want to become! 🙂
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